New Year, New Journey

As the weeks have ticked by without much word, yours truly has decided to do what most folks do when traffic is slow, inspiration low, and interests have waned. They close up shop.

This leave of absence will only be seasonal, however. We will reopen when the time is right again.

When I'm back in Mexico. When baby stops eating all brainpower and creativity. When I can sleep longer than 2-hour intervals. When I start having complete thoughts again....could be a while.

But we'd rather prepare the populace ahead of time instead of prolonging the silence.

We will write again.

In a new year. And on a completely new journey.

Couvade syndrome: Sympathy or Psycho?

Back in July and August, yours truly was wracked with sickness. Morning sickness, mostly.

Nasty nausea, dizziness, fatigue on top of a stubborn upper respiratory tract infection left me pretty whipped. Compound the everyday rain, cool temps and subsequent humidity (read mold), and you have one pretty miserable pregnant lady.

Hubby was great through all of this. He shouldered everything - from the household responsibilities to my weird moods and meal requests. Handled it all with a smile. Nary a complaint. But then it started.

"I'm not feeling so good. Feeling a little dizzy..."

"I'm so tired...think I need a nap..."

"That upset my stomach last night, better not eat that..."

And then he said it, "I think I can feel your pregnancy symptoms."

What?!?

"In Mexico sometimes the man can feel the pregnancy symptoms too and I think that's what I have."

Needless to say, I was not so sympathetic. "Honey, I am certain you are NOT feeling my pregnancy symptoms."

"But I am! Look, I even found the name of it..." (points to an article about couvade syndrome). "See, it's a real condition!"

Rolling my eyes and skimming the text, I was sure to point out psychosomatic in the article.

"Know what that means? That means it's all in your head!" I said, thumping my index finger against the right temple.

Silence. A sly smile before starting out a "But I-".

I wasn't having it. Telling a pregnant wife that you feel what she feels when she is in the throes of morning sickness, wacky hormones, and brutal bronchitis - all of which she can take next to no medications for, will win zero sympathy points.

No doubt, my dear husband may have felt something, but not what I felt. Lay down if you're tired. Take a Tums if your tummy hurts. That's normal. It's not pregnancy.

Hubby's "condition" has since been a good source of smiles.

I recommended he begin taking prenatal vitamins and folic acid supplements immediately. Cut out the caffeine and raw milk. Better start looking for Men's maternity clothes. And next time we visit the doctor we'll ask him to keep the transducer warm so he can do his ultrasound.

He's taken the teasing well.

We'll see if he starts having contractions in a couple months.

Self-Talk, Stateside

Ahhh...It's so nice to drive here.
Police are not looking for lunch money. I need not fear them.
Trash is in the can, not all over the ground.
It's so QUIET.
Nobody here walks. Anywhere.
I am pop-culture illiterate. And I'm fine with that.

Ahhh...toilet seats.
Farm animals only transport the Amish.
Fresh food is not always affordable.
Not a stray dog in sight.
Everyone is in a hurry.
Cash is curious...better pay with plastic.
Free refills!

Ahhh...a real steak. And Starbucks.
Where are the tortillas?
This 'authentic' guacamole sucks...going to make my own.
It's SO much easier to be pregnant here!
Ugh...super stores. I miss my small shops.
FLUSH the toilet paper.

Ahhh...soft clothes. Thank you, drying machine.
Hooray for Customer Service and refund policies!
I am walking...and I have the right-of-way?
Everyone's busy...nobody has time. Everyone is in debt.
Good to be back at church.
Baby likes bland. I can eat again.

Ahhh...indoor climate control.
Thank you, cold weather. You kill cockroaches.
No cheek-kiss greetings...hug or handshake.
Salsa is not supposed to be sweet...going to make my own.
Unsupervised stuff will not be stolen, in my home or elsewhere...most of the time.
Hot water on demand!
Where do they get these bananas? They taste terrible.

Ahhh...the four seasons. And all their holidays.
Fall is beautiful.
Can't wait to see snow.
I've really missed my family and friends.
I really miss my husband.
I'll do anything to have this baby born healthy...that's why I'm here without him.

And that's what I keep telling myself.

Happiest of Halloweens

Been back in the US for a couple weeks. Enjoying fall and a happy host of upcoming holidays, all of which will be spent stateside.  Missing my husband, wishing he could be here to celebrate them with me. As does he.

But I am never alone these days. A presence much more real than a spooky spirit is ever with (and within) me. And after next February, always will be...si dios quiere.

From both of us, Happy Halloween!

Ask la Gringa: Drug War Truth, Is it Safe?

Due to several emails received recently on the subject of drug violence in Veracruz, this post will attempt to answer the heart of all of them - what is really going on there concerning the drug war, and, is it safe? Can I visit/move there? With kids?

I should preface this subject by informing readers that we no longer live in Veracruz city full-time, thankfully. Although we moved for different reasons, the violence that has erupted in Veracruz this year has been astounding. Went from relative peace and quiet to what seems to be an escalating war with no end in sight. Our information and insights are limited, but our sources and experiences are reliable. My answer is based on that.


What is really going on?
Violent confrontations between rival drug cartels, Mexican military and now suspected paramilitary groups. Specifically, the drug cartel that previously controlled drug flow in Veracruz (los Zetas) were supposedly protected by the former state governor, whose term ended in 2010. New governor is not 'in' with them, so the opportunity arose to challenge the Zetas.

Army troops and the Sinaloa cartel have been the main opponents to the Zetas, who are known to be exceptionally ruthless and violent. They have expanded operation to all kinds of activity beyond drug trafficking, mainly kidnapping, assassinations, and all kinds of extortion. Politicians, police and big companies are known to be on their payroll, all of whom want their hands in the pockets of small businesses and civilians.

Plata o Ploma (Silver or Bullet)
Common saying throughout Latin America, which means, take the bribe or take a bullet. Obviously the bribe is often chosen. Drug wars feed on bribes. Drug bribes cannot be stopped or fought because drugs are illegal. This raises the product price sky-high because only the most ruthless criminals with no regard for human life, let alone the law, will run the ring. Make billions. And kill anyone who gets in their way.

They bring murder, extortion, bribes, violence, and all sorts of other evil into the industry. No amount of 'defense' dollars will defeat it. This is the root of the problem, along with rampant corruptibility in Mexican society.

Is it safe to live/travel there?
This depends on one's personal comfort level. Over 100 dead bodies have been found in the past month, with several others missing. This sounds alarming. However, the majority of these victims were involved in drug trafficking/bribes/extortion that led to their death. And, in a city of over 600,000 inhabitants, I like my odds if I'm a law-abiding civilian.

That said, the innocent do get caught in the crossfire. Had I or a family member been been amongst the killed or injured due to grenades thrown into the city's Aquarium, statistics would have been meaningless. A journalist neighbor of ours was murdered in his home, along with his wife and son. My sister-in-law received phone calls threatening kidnap if she didn't pay up, just this week. She tells our nephew that the shootings at night are fireworks, so as not to scare him. And there is a noticeable decline in traffic after dark. People lock their doors and only go out if they have to. Checkpoints, troops, and even tanks are common throughout the city.

People are fearful. Although unlikely, the threat of violence does exist in Veracruz. More so than in the past years of my residency and visits. I personally do not feel threatened during my few-day visits, although sometimes the sights are unsettling. I would not live in Veracruz should a safer city be an option. Xico is still peaceful, as are many other areas in Veracruz state and Mexico. Not all of Mexico is dangerous. We hope it stays that way.

If you would like to ask la Gringa in Veracruz a question, please use the contact form or leave an anonymous comment on the Ask la Gringa page. Ask la Gringa questions will be posted anonymously and kept confidential. Names will not be published other than what you choose to sign your message with.

Could you listen to this all day?

Barking dogs in Mexico are near equal in numbers to tortillas - they're everywhere. And every neighborhood has one that insists on being a bit more annoying that the others. No exception here in Xico.

About 15ft. separates the neighbor's wall and ours. Where from the other side comes the loudest, shrillest, most nerve-racking dog bark we've ever heard.

Non-stop. Never takes more than a 20-30min break during the day, and can go for hours. Impressive larynx and lungs. That need to be silenced very soon.

He takes the Most Annoying Dog in the Neighborhood title from the previous holder by a long shot. We thought the black lab on the roof was bad until this guy came around a couple days ago.

Now we spend the day with headphones on and earplugs in so as not to lose our sanity. We are contemplating how to soundproof this situation better. Build a high, double-layer wall? Foam padding on the interior?

I'm personally in favor of lacing a piece of meat with a strong sedative every morning. But that could get expensive. Toxins would be cheap and a one-time deal.

We have to do something. It's impossible to think let alone concentrate on work or any other task due to the shrieks of a rabid canine.

Take a listen. Could you listen to this all day?


Image of most annoying dog bark